Monday, 31 December 2007

Aśvins

Tunite, The Instertute ave its big assembles befor givin tanks at ar new yer feest. I tells alt stewdents to wurry not if dey not comprende da Werd of Gods pronto. I tel em we ave as much tchans of unstan His Werd as ave pekkin chikkins of unstanin the world of Man. "All we kan do", I sais "is keep on pekkin."

Profesr Sartori (ed of Vedicmusicologee), as set Asvins to a ouse beet and alla teechers gonna rappit, even if it not in rymin cuplets. Then we all gonna libate like the clappers. Appy New Year Everone.

Rig Veda - HYMN III. Aśvins
(NB: Aśvins are the divine twin horsemen in the Rig Veda. They are the sons of Saranya; Nāsatya and Dasra and they symbolise the shining of sunrise and sunset)

YE Aśvins, rich in treasure, Lords of splendour, having nimble hands,Accept the sacrificial food.Ye Aśvins, rich in wondrous deeds, ye heroes worthy of our praise,Accept our songs with mighty thought.Nāsatyas, wonder-workers, yours are these libations with clipt grass:Come ye whose paths are red with flame.O Indra marvellously bright, come, these libations long for thee,Thus by fine fingers purified.Urged by the holy singer, sped by song, come, Indra, to the prayers,Of the libation-pouring priest.Approach, O Indra, hasting thee, Lord of Bay Horses, to the prayers.In our libation take delight.Ye Viśvedevas, who protect, reward, and cherish men, approachYour worshipper's drink-offering.Ye Viśvedevas, swift at work, come hither quickly to the draught,As milch-kine hasten to their stalls.The Viśvedevas, changing shape like serpents, fearless, void of guile,Bearers, accept the sacred draughtWealthy in spoil, enriched with hymns, may bright Sarasvati desire,With eager love, our sacrifice.Inciter of all pleasant songs, inspirer of all gracious thought,Sarasvatī accept our riteSarasvatī, the mighty flood,—she with her light illuminates,She brightens every pious thought.

Braman

Little Sanjeet as returned; I is alwus appy to see er appy smile agen. Ova dis holiday she sed er kundrleeney energy visit her sixth shakra and she wuder wot it will be like to ave external life as de universl godhed. I sed it probly ok so long as yer sinuses not blocked up.

Sunday, 30 December 2007

Koranavan

Akshuuly we was goin to be short of akkommer-dashun fer the stewdents this term; lukily the Muslim stewdents ave decided to bring their own koranavan wid em. Prase Allah, but dey is klever.

Saturday, 29 December 2007

Nicherless Adara

Dr Adara as arived but er lugidge as gon missin intransit so she as no clean nikkers. We ave ad a wip round but it is not ideel. We will ave a prayur seshun befor dinna to beseech the Lord for the safe discuvery and re-unerfercation of Dr Adara an er nikkers. Dr Adara is qite sangwin bout it an puts it down to er karma but sais she wont fly wiv gulfair agen. She as ad a cuppa tea an is calm down now afta prayin to er God Enlil.

Dr Adara will be teechin Sumerian an Baby Lonian Astrotheosophyiscs this term. Blesser.

Shine a Lite

Before God did owt else e ad summat er say. It wus is last werd. Only it come first. An it summed up is ole attitude to evrythink.

Now dis werd wus wid God. Fact it was part'n parcil uv im. So at start uv evrythink an a long time fore man was akshully made, God's werd to men wus ready and waitin.

Everythink there is wus made by this werd. E wus God's one and ony contractor for de ole Universe job. Nowt at all as ever got made sept through this d'partm'nt uv God ... wot we call is "werd".

Now just becus dis werd is part uv God isself, all God's life is in im. An dis life is de light what shines on evrybody. Dis is de light wot evryody needs. Gud innit?

Friday, 28 December 2007

Lessuns Bigin on Chewsday

The Werd of God is Hot at this Madrasa and Wen all the boys and gerls have finushed arrival this weak-end. Lessuns will begin at 5am on the 1st of Janyouewy with a very speshul prayer seshun led by the Regius Professer of Aromatheology from Svalbard. Alls the staffs is gowing too!

In Mornin

All the staffs is upset terday coz wot hapen in pakerstan to Ms Buto. Ther is cryin in the correrdoors and whaling at the worl. We at the Werd deprecate all violence dun in the Name of God. IT IS NOT WHAT E WANTS SO STOPPIT! We will be in mornin all this evenin and hope you will joint us.

Before you all go outs on the pavemints to get rivenge, we know it weren't Mr Bin Lardin coz he was out huntin cabbidges all day.

Stewdents

The Instertute welcomes stewdents from all over the werld to studee the Werd. Lanwidge is sumtimes a problem but as you no, In The Berginning Was The Werd so it cant ave bin a pwoblem then can it? Furst think we'll do is figar out wot langwidge the Werds is in an then get crakin. Contrablutions are welkim from erryone coz thers nothin like open sauce.

About Me

Professer of Celestial Astrotheology Hedmisteres of Instertue of the Werd: I is misterkal in me fishnets & I medertates lots but I is not fond of merhameds pants even tho I lives in them